Expositions on Biblical Transition
So I enjoyed an amazing sunset over Akron’s skyline tonight and got some amazing God-time in. Here were my thoughts:
I think often that my generation is tempted to claim a monopoly on feelings of transition, uncertainty, and lack-of-purpose. As you may have gathered after reading some of my previous points, it is something I often think through myself. And as I talk to my many friends my age, I do indeed garner the idea that so many of my peers (and myself) are trying desperately to find their purpose, God’s plan for them, etc.
And it is tempting to call ourselves a directionless generation (and I’ve read some articles that do indeed call us that). And it is all the more tempting to claim that we are unlike so many others before us in our confusion as to what to make of and where to go in life.
However, that simply is not the case. Indecision, uncertainty, and confusion over life-plans have been around, well, forever.
And as I watched the sun cascade over St. Bernard’s (Akron’s largest Catholic church, with high, steeping spires), and the hue of the sky transform from the bright orange of day, to a collage of rose and magenta; pinks into purples into blues into grays, I thought of Abraham and Israel.
I thought of Abraham and the promise he received, to be the father of a nation. A promise given to an old man, with a barren wife. And I thought, there’s Abraham, who knows his purpose in life, has been told explicitly by God what His plans for him are, if anyone could live a life of certainty surely Abraham could.
But Abraham, like the rest of us, struggled with the tension of living under and into God’s promises. He had a child by Hagar, even when the promise was suppose to come through Sarah. And for a good 10-14 years, abraham walked with the uncertainty of unmet promises and presumably frustrating sense of life-purpose. Now we know that he walked in faith, but that does not make it an easy walk.
Or consider the nation Israel as they left EGypt and drew near to the Promised Land. The spies went in and only 2/12 were willing to brave the seige. The other 10 (and they then convinced the rest of the nation) were too afraid of the inhabitants of the land, even though the land itself had been promised to them. So the result: 40 years of wandering. 40 years of waiting. 40 years of uncertainty and little direction.
And I took some broad ideas from the above stories, that brought me a great deal of comfort, as the night sky slowly darkened.
- One, uncertaity is nothing new. My generation is not the first directionless generation, and we surely won’t be the last.
- Two, God is still faithful in his promises for your life, no matter what. Abraham did indeed bear a son. Israel did indeed inherit the promised land. God’s promises were fulfilled.
- Three, it is within our ability to delay God’s best for us. (Now, careful with my semantics here) I don’t believe we usurp God’s plans or throw him for a curve ball if we sin, however from Scripture I have observed that it is well within our ability to delay God’s best for us. Abraham, with Hagar, tried to fulfill God’s ends by man’s means. And in doing so did he delay for himself God’s blessing (we’ll never fully know)? Israel, with their lack of faith, delayed for themselves the promised land for 40 years.
- Three (second paragraph) I think that we can indeed delay’s God’s best for us when we attempt to do Holy things, via unholy means. When we want to see God’s plan fulfilled through some less than honorable technique, it seems as though we inevitably prolong our own walk.
- Four, God’s means are not what we always expect. (I extrapolated this point from some other bible stories as well, but as a huge example consider the wait for the Messiah’s answer in Jesus christ, not twhat they expected at all.)
- Five, recalling three again because its too good to only say once: God is faithful. His plans are still in motion. His promises still being upheld!
Grace and peace
Facial Hair Awareness Campaign: College Life
The college campus is notorious for being a place of unbridled liberalism. College campuses across the world, have students who push the line of what has previously been established, what has thought to have been the norm, and sometimes what is even right.
And so it is with facial hair. In what other environment is one so welcome to experiment, without punishment, the joys and woes of facial hair. Some high schools and high school jobs expect you to be clean-shaven. College classes don’t. Nor do most on-campus jobs. In fact there is so much facial hair freedom on the college campus that many men brave attempts at communal facial hair with such events as “Febru-hairy” and “Mustache March.”
Unfortunantly Akron, (my alma mater) has not as fully embraced facial hair as some other campuses, but I applaud all campuses efforts nonetheless. Some campuses of note that I have experienced: Kent and Malone. At various parties and shindigs that I have attended I have witnessed beards of a great multitude at these campuses. Men I salute your valient efforts at continually pushing forward the campaign for facial hair awareness!!
Grace and Peace
Life Update
So much has changed for me over the past few weeks and I felt obliged to post about it.
1. Graduated!! I am done taking classes and teaching at the University of Akron (now I do have a couple loose ends to tie up on my thesis, so I’m still around campus, but I’m not paying for it wott woot!!)
2. Unemployed!! Haha. For the first time in a while, I have no official job, not a TA, nor janitor, nor Camp Carl leadership person. Thus my goal for the summer is to not spend much money.
3. Free-time. a direct corollary of the first two points is that for the first time in a while I now have a fair amount of free time!! Reach Akron , CF, and school are all done so I find myself with time to kill. Here are what I have been doing and what I plan on doing to kill the time and enjoy what may be one of the longest and last periods of free-time in my adult life:
- Biking (one of my new favorite things to do. I just blew a big gift certificate on things for my bike (waterbottle and holder, high-tech wind-resistant, moisture managing jacket, & lights) and am excited to try them out (Thanks again Dad)
- Ultimate Frisbee- there’s been a serious lack of this for a while. This needs rectified.
- Reading- My too read list: Selected writings of Martin Luther, Restoration (a book on Messianic Christianity, Be The Change (a book on the slave trade, for a mission trip that I am a chaperon for, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (i’m reading this with Grant C. if anyone wants to join our book club for the summer…), some books on Buddhism (compliments of the A-Dub Library), and of course a bunch of comic books!!
- Thesis- I’m finishing up my final draft now (about 100+ pages), we’ll work on revisions and publication over the summer months.
- Camp Carl- lets be honest, I’m a lifer. I’m helping out at camp for a couple weeks doing Day camp and whatever else they need.
- Weddings-I’m in a couple and going to a few over the course of the summer.
- Backpacking-I have two trips tentatively planned presently, which I am stoked for. I’m trying to plan a possible third as well for some of the many people who want to go backpacking, but don’t know anything about doing it.
- Boston-I’m going there for a week with the jr. high department of the Chapel. My first trip as a leader!!
- HANGING OUT-one of the main reasons why I decided not too work this summer, was because I wanted to spend a lot of time with friends and family before I leave for Philadelphia this august. (some of the other reasons were that I didn’t want nor have to, & I will probably never again be able to relax for a whole summer again, so I had to take the opportunity while I had it) So please, get a hold of me if you want to catch up. (I’m more than available)
- Metro-parks-goes hand in hand with the biking and frisbee!
Yeah, so life is looking good for summer of 2008.
Grace and Peace
On Saving Lives and Losing Them
I’ve written about this before in abstract, about how a particular verse in Mark has haunted me as I’ve tried to understand what it means. (Check out the link for the full post and the smattering of comments it received, http://joetucker.wordpress.com/2007/11/13/whoever-wants-to-save-his-life/#comments). But now with graduation upon me and the next phase of life before me, the verse again has proliferated my thoughts.
What does it mean?
- “Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.” (Mark 8:34-35)
I attended the wedding of a friend the other day. It was a great celebration and a beautiful wedding. While at the reception I was talking to a wise woman, who is the wife of a man I have known deeply since high school and mother to a family I deeply respect and admire. We were catching up on how things were, where we were heading, how her kids were, and what I would be doing in the future.
One of her comments struck me and I reflected upon it as I drove home. She had said something to the affect of, “Joe, I’m glad that you are not doing this traditional route of graduating, getting married, then getting a job. I’m excited for what God will do through you in Philadelphia, and I just think that had you done the norm, you wouldn’t be the same as you are presently, or ask the types of questions you ask.”
I smiled and thanked her and our conversation resumed. But I thought about what she had said, and a lot of things clicked for me as I began to process the ramifications and underlying truths of her statement.
One, the obvious statement that I needed to have reiterated: Losing your life is painful. We see Christ often in Scripture refer to this figurative laying down of your life through service and how this act mirrors his work done on the Cross. However, we seldom reflect on the fact that this can for us be a painful process.
I would assume that this is due to the nature of college. In college, few will scold you for remaining single. No one will chastise you for dedicating your Spring break to a service trip or giving up a Monday night to do Reach Akron. Yet, as I approach this foreboding realm of adulthood, I can sense the coming tension with my current status of life and the way the “real” world works.
As I tell people that I am going to Mission Year to serve in Philadelphia for a year, (Moreover as I tell them that I won’t be working for a year..), I can interpret their, “Well, that is good for you,” response with the underlying message of, “I wouldn’t do it and eventually, you’ll see it my way and get a real job.” Now this is not the standard response I get many of my freinds and family are very excited for me (as I am excited for me as well), but with a few I can read between the lies the above response.
And there it is! This disconnect between what I am doing and what others think I should do. Moreover, a disconnect between, what I believe God desires for me and what the world would have me do. And the tension is emotionally tangible! (i.e. it hurts). Losing your life was never meant to be an easy task. I’m beginning to understand this.
Two; and this one is the one that gets me: I don’t dictate the process of saving my life. Christ says that whoever saves his life will lose it. But whoever loses his life, will save it. We only control the former. We can only choose to save our life or lose it. The latter response just happens. We have no say in the matter.
We either choose to save our own skins (fill in the blank for whatever that means: (selfishly investing only in yourself, never taking a risk, etc…) and then, life happens and things don’t go the way you planned (your marriage fails, you lose your job, you’re just not happy, etc…). Or you choose to lay down your life (again whatever that means, selling some of what you own, giving up a year to do service, living selflessly, etc…) and God happnes and …………. things go His way.
Which I have only the vaguest notion of what that looks like. And not knowing unnerves me. I understand it for what it is, faith, but that doesn’t make it an easy pill to swallow. So, bulletpoint two, losing your life means that you don’t dictate how you are saved or what you are saved into. You can only accept the fact that the ”saver” is competent to save you into something good.
And three, I guess three is just a summation of one and two, that the life you are saved into is strikingly different then the life you were saved from and that this new life is presumably against the grain of your old way of life.
Which is exciting! (and unprecedented for me thus slightly unnerving)
Just figured I’d post my thoughts, i’d love to hear yours…
grace and peace
Breaking up with Reach Akron: Part 1
I ended one of my longest standing relationships today.
I started Reach Akron in the Spring of 2004. I can vividly remember two older (and attractive) girls inviting me to serve at Reach Akron on Monday nights. And although nothing ever came to fruition with the two girls who invited me to Reach Akron, I immediately fell in love with the ministry. Reach Akron on Monday nights became a staple of my week.
I found a few old blog posts from my old Xanga, xanga.com/joex74 (i’ll warn you now, the posts are rough, I just reread some of them and present-day Joe would love to go back in time to teach past-Joe how to write more efficiently). I’ll insert some of the ones I found there on this site:
- Monday January 31, 2005:Two posts in one day, crazy isn’t it? This post is dedicated to Reach Akron and all its glory. For those of who, (whoever you are I should probably try to meet people who come to my sight) don’t know what Reach Akron is, its an innercity Akron ministry that reaches out to local kids and plays games and teaches them. Sweet right?Well, many times the fruits of the labor are few and far between. Like when you have them memorize a verse and they forget it or when you talk about the Bible and they pay no attention. Anyways, today we played RA jeopardy and one of the kids for the final questions quoted a Bible verse.Might sound trivial, but it was awesome. Really reminded me how God acts in the lives of the kids. Reach Akron rocks because Jesus is awesome!Well dorm life calls, board game time.Peace.
That was my sophomore year of college (and I did indeed play a lot of board games that year). I can remember that night very well, one of the boys in my class memorized a Bible verse and recited it. One of the boys who you just assume doesn’t care recited a life-changing piece of Scripture, that I had helped him learn. I felt honored and valued. I felt that my work had been worthwhile. I fell in love with serving kids at Reach Akron.
My sophomore year of college is when I really started to get involved with RA. I worked with the older boys and taught lessons like this:
- Tuesday February 8, 2005:
- Then Reach Akron which was awesome tonight. Nate and I talked about sex to 6 jr. highers about purity and integrity focusing on the verse, 1 Corinthians 6:20 “you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with you body.” And it went well! (which is a small miracle in itself cosidering our goofy leadership and 6 innercity jr highers as an audience)
And eventually I began to understand the magnitude of the ministry. I began to understand the need that so many of the kids had. I commented on this as well:
- Tuesday April 19th 2005: Ok, after getting frustrated at my computer last night, I will now in detail describe Reach Akron.REach Akron (henceforth referred to as RA in order to type faster, since i only use two fingers) is a program hosted by the Chapel on Monday nights from 5:30 to 8 that brings inner city Akron kids to the church and then leads them in lessons, activities, and games. It at times is a hard ministry because often the kids have real genuine problems and attitudes to accompany those problems. (so they don’t listen to you)However the fruits are amazing. We have memory verses for my class, the older boys (grades 7+) and we had a game of jeopordy (spelling??) in which they had to answer trivia about leaders, sports, rap, and recite verses. Well one of the kids from my class recited a verse for us “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you” Luke 6:27 That was my lesson about not fighting about loving and respecting each other (which seldom occurs at an RA function lol) anyways this kid remembered. It was awesome, made my night.Then there are the times when it is a saddening ministry, last night for example. I ride shotgun in the van that takes the kids home and had to talk to a parent of one of the girls because she had thrown up at RA (she was sick). So i went into their house on Carroll and was just hit by….i don’t know hard to explain. it s hard to capture the idea of 7 kids living in a small house, its hard to react when the mother looks like she is only a coupl years older than I am (20). It was humbling/wierd/sad/akward all at the same time.And i often find myself on the drive back or walk home wondering what else I can do. What can i do for these kids to change their lives? Should I? What do they really need? and can i even give that to them?
After much pondering I have come to the conclusion that these kids need hope. They have nothing to live for, so they live the fantasy of rap, they love 107.9 (so do i for that matter) and they have all the songs memorized (i don’t) do they like it so much because it escapes their present situation of hopelessness, do they constantly lie in order to disfigure the ugly truth of how they live? i don’t know, but they need hope.
They need Christ more than I do, because Christ offers peace of mind (not peace of life), because Christ promises eternal comfort and life. because Christ brings tranquility and love.
Yet at times the world is soo loud. I saw a kid (like 8 years old) with a bottle of alcohol as we were driving by. my passengers commented “oh look at him, he’s in trouble” or “man i’m going there tonight!’ he was 8! eight and with alcohol, a bottle of it.
God is sovereign, it means He is powerful and in control. I pray for these kids (you should too) i pray that God will provide for them, more than I have been provided for. but i fear they will choose not to take the gift.
hmmmmm. it looks like i need to pray more for this ministry and take it further.
<<God we need you for this, it’s a fool’s errand without your hope.>>
peace
I drove vans for a while that year. And got to know a great many of the kids. I invested a lot into their lives and knew many of them very well. That year concluded with us sending some of the kids to Camp Carl. Here were my thoughts at the time:
- Monday May 2 2005:It has been a most interesting and emotional day. (87 on the Spanish test, 07, on FoAM for anyone who cares)Anyways onto something interesting. Today was the last Reach Akron of the semester, and I am truly disheartened. It was sad to say goodbye to all the kids that we have worked so hard with this past year. Despite the rock-throwing, profanity-slipping, punch-throwing, chaotic mess that happens nearly every week. I truly love those kids and wish the best for them this summer.Which is why I am incredibly excited t announce that two kids Rashaad and Robert recieved camperships to Camp Carl for the summer and will probably be in Nate’s cabin! What is truly amazing is how excited they were! It was like a pre-taste of camp, the excitement of going! a week away from home!, pools and sun and friends, and counselors, and singing and horses, and craziness. This is why I work there. The place is amazing I love it.So I was crushed to just give away two camperships. The boys where so excited, so happy to recieve a free-sponsored week at camp, but the some of the others wanted so badly to go. They wanted so badly to experience it too. I need to call Landis and see what options are available for tsome of these other Reach Akron boys.Let me let this sink in, those kids need this summer. I don’t want to sound cliche or stupid, but my life was changed there, Camp Carl changed who I was. I made commitments there that I remember and honor to this day!
We raised money as a group of leaders to send more kids to Camp Carl that summer:
- Tuesday May 17, 2005:I also finalized the Reach Akron camperships today. The older boys leaders raised $250 (an impressive amount for 7 college students) in order to send two more of our kids out to camp this summer. (have fun Nate, i requested you as a counselor) It was great though to talk to their guardians (I have no idea who is their mom or dad, it is really quite sad) and tell their guardians that it was all paid for and that all they had to do was to send in the form. This will be possibly their first “camp” experience, with horses, and boats, and games and such. I take fun times like that for granted, not realizing that there are kids who have never spent a night in a tent, or even been outside of the city.So it felt good to get it all finalized to give of what we had, and to send Malcolm and donovan out to camp!! Awesome!
For two years I served with the older boys class. The numbers at Reach Akron always flux, and at one point the older boys classroom had a prssing amount of kids in both high school and junior high. This dichotomy proved itself to be quite the hassle, we reconciled it as follows:
- Monday January 23 2006 6:30-9:30–>REACH AKRON (if you have actually read this much this is where it gets good, if not START READING HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!) Reach Akron was off the hook tonight, we split the older boys up into jr high and sr high classes and Scott and I had all the sr highers. and God moved. We talked from Matthew 10:37-39 where Christ calls us to love him more than our mothers, ( a hard task for inner city kids) fathers, sons, daughters, and our own lives. We talked of the struggles that these kids have in high school and trying to live Godly lives and……my lesson didnt cut it, but God was made perfect in my weakness, HE lead my hand to passages that applied, He gave me words.
**This post has proven itself to be quite long, stay tuned for Part 2 coming eventually…
Grace and Peace
