On Transition: Part I
How do you leave college?
How does one leave a place where five years have been spent investing in lives of people, pouring into ministries, leading, and living?
These questions have haunted me for the majority of this semester. And it is not a fear of the ‘real world’ or a Van Wilder-esque (Van Wilder was a college movie about a 7th year college student) fear of failure. It is a genuine transition from one part of life to another and even though I have watched many do it before, I question if we do it well. Or if it is even right to do in the first place.
Let me cite two examples that dichotimize the issue. KP excelled in college. He played on sports team both as a Division I athlete and with intramurals. He got involved in groups, lead Bible studies with other athletes, and obtained a solid degree in civil engineering. The degree presently sits in his sock drawer. KP still serves the University of Akron by working as an intern for Campus Focus, a job he also excels at. KP found a calling in college life and college ministry and decided to stay and continue serving there. And it’s good.
JG was another active college student. Majoring in classical guitar, as well as getting involved with service week Spring breaks, programs around akron, and in general college life. and he lived it well, despite a demanding practice schedule, JG invested intentionally into the lives of those around him. Then he graduated. Now he’s gone.
And it seems to me that this is the polarization of the issue. It is stay or go. Stay and serve college life somehow, or disappear. And what unnerves me is that I do not often see examples of leaving well. Make no mistake I am ready (so, so very ready) to be done with college, however I don’t want to just leave and disappear.
And this isn’t a rant about leaving a legacy. It is a true conviction concerning what will happen to the friendships I have established while at the university. Because I know that nothing really happens without intentionality. I can vividly recall high school graduation and the oft-shouted, “We should totally hang out over the summer, before college!!” But it never happened for so many of them. Why?
Because we lack intentionality. Because we take the easy form of relationship, the present form, and wrestle with anything distant or different.
How does one leave well?
On Transition: Part II coming soon…
Grace and peace
On the Tip of My Tongue
I have a couple (maybe a few when I’m all said and done) of sweet posts brewing in my draft section. These are things that I have been thinking about or dealing with all semester and decided to finally wrestle into words. But this verbal wrestling match has proved trying and I wanted to give the posts the fullness of thought the deserved, not just a midnight hour smattering of musings.
So stay posted some good stuff coming soon.
I’ll give you two of the titles to entice you to religiously check my blog, thus boosting my hits per day, which I check religiously.
On Exasperation and On Transition. Yeah, sweet titles I know. Putting the word “On” before a word makes it sound that much more professional and thesis-like.
grace and peace
Bones: DVD Review
So at my house, the Manastery, we don’t have cable. Actually we don’t really have any channels of the tv at all. We agreed as a house to just not have it. Now, this doesn’t mean that we don’t watch tv, we just find different mediums for viewing television.
We either go to someone else’s house for TV show nights (such as Heroes night), or we watch TV shows that we like on the internet (such as the Office), or we get seasons on DVD and watch an entire season in a week. The latter case applies to the tv show Bones.
I just finished watching the first season; usually an episode or two serves as some brain downtime from school and life. And I’ll be honest, I liked the show a lot. It’s reminiscent of the X-Files with anthropologist Temperance Brennon serve as our logical Dana Scully, will FBI agent Seeley (weird name I admit) Booth, serving as the abstract Fox Mulder. However the primary difference between Bones and X-Files is, while X-Files dealt with the supernatural, Bones deals with the anthropological. That’s right, rather than having a crime lab in a police station, the Bones team works out of the Jeffersonian where a team of multiple doctorate toting individuals, solve crimes by using ridiculous holographic bone imaging and obscene amounts of knowledge concerning, well, everything.
And I’ll admit, there are times when their intelligence is ridiculous, but dang it, the show is so good that I’ll forsake the logical idea that no one person could be so knowledgeable about everything and just enjoy it.
And plus there is solid character development and of course chemistry between the leads (there is also the logical assumption that smart people are never as good looking as these people are haha).
Anyways, if you get a chance and enjoy CSI style/X-files-esque Chemistry murder mystery dramas, check it out.
Grace and peace
If
So every tuesday morning for the last 10 weeks or so, I have met with a small group of friends and chapter by chapter we have been reading this book entitled “The Shaping of Things to Come” by Michael Frost and Alan Hirsch. It talks about the present structure of church, why it is the way it is, if it has to be that way, what it could look like, how to maybe get to what it could look like, and so on. It has been a very challenging and interesting read.
And there has been this consistent struggle within the group of translating the words and thoughts into actuality. Week after week, we have left wondering, “what does that look like for us?” And yesterday we left with some semblance of a breakthrough.
But before I present what we found, let me delineate some of the main points of the book (brace yourself, because I have been writiing in a technical format every day for the last 2 week, so we will get a lot of scholarly transition words and description verbs like “delineate”): The book starts by describing the present condition of the church related to the present condition of society. If you have read any post-modern literature it is of this stock, but I would warrant that it is a little more thorough (and surprisingly modern) in its definition of our present condition.
For example, the whole ‘people in America today are very open to spirituality, but not to religion,’ mindset is presented. The authors then address how the church has become as it presently is attractional, dualistic, and hierarchical.
Attractional implying we prefer people come to the church rather than going out to them. (Just consider all your seeker-friendly services…)
Dualistic implying we divide places and times into specific sacred or non-sacred places and times, rather than wholistically living. (Don’t cuss in church, (as if it is OK to cuss out of church), a trite example, but a pointed one nonetheless)
Hierarchical implying that the church is structured from a top down leadership (like a business) rather than empowering lay people within the congregation to lead and inspire. (Do I really need an example here??)
There alternative is moving the church in a more incarnational, messianic, and apostolic direction. Incarnational meaning that we interact directly with the world, where the people are (like Jesus did). Messianic implying (amongst other things) that the entirety of our lives (every part of every day) is centered in Christ and Christ’s mission for us. And apostolic, (well I haven’t really finished those chapters yet, but I’m assuming it’s moving to some form of shared/group leadership within the church.
Anyway, our group got to thinking. What if instead of meeting every Sunday for worship and occasionally do a service trip or work together, we met consistently in some form of service or ministry and every once in a while got together for worship?
Now this might be a big pill to swallow. There might be a guttural reaction from you (my online viewership) but permit me to explain. The fellowship I have after I have been serving with someone is deeper, truer, and easier. After a night of Reach Akron, or a week of serving at camp Carl, or a sweet ministry trip, our times of worship together are refined! Because we know we need God! and we have been seeing and experience what God is up to all day/week/whatever. Not only does serving cause you to grow in your own sanctification, but laboring together for the cause of Christ, instills in the community a deeper sense of who God is, which is what worship is to begin with!!
I could go on, but I have to get my day started and I have a thesis to finish (I’m presently rocking 71 pages, yeah!) So some food for thought, let me know what you think!
Grace and peace
A Pre-thesis Post
So I decided to compile a post before working on my thesis for the next two hours because every time I try to write after working on my thesis it is a be-muddled mess due to the fact that my brain has ceased functioning at any higher levels of thought. And I’m going to post on something simple, well something seemingly simple, yet when looked at, when inspected, reveals itself to be deep and satisfying.
God is big.
I sang a song entitled “God is big” to campers at Camp Carl, when I was in charge of the elementary camp there. It had childish lyrics like “God is bigger than an elephant stretched out from tail to nose” or “He’s bigger than the biggest whale that swam the biggest seas.” You know, kid stuff. But I listened to a sermon today. (My dude Francis Chan @ www.cornerstonesimi.com) on the size and personhood of God, and I was reminded of a fact, a truth, that I told my staff as we worked and sang at Camp Carl. In the simplest of statements about God, the richest truths are found. God is big. It sounds simple, but affects so much, if we let it.
I won’t talk about math too much, but majoring in math (or really any college program, I’d imagine) reinforces this idea. Take a simple idea, an even number plus an even number equals an even number. Elementary, I learned this fact in elementary school. I proved this fact in college. I’ve seen Master’s thesis on number theory and heard doctorate defenses on set theory and its uses. The simple fact of even numbers, can be studied, understood, applied, modified, worked with, utilized in such a way that an entire field of study is given to it. And that’s all college is, you take one are and study the crap out of it.
How much more is it with God, when we take an element of His character and think about it. Muse on it, praise it, reflect on it, let it permeate our own lives, let it intersect us during our routine.
God is big. He is beyond us. He is above our worries and concerns. Not removed from our worries and concerns, greater than them. When I reflect on who God is I stop worrying about the fact that I have alot of work to do over the next month. When I think about his power and His daily presence in my life, I no longer muse over my own shortcomings and inadequacies.
The personhood of God. Above us, in control. Yet present and approachable. And that He has made Himself known….
God is big.
I’ll confess that although thesis week has been fairly productive (I’d give it a B- on getting done what I had set out to do..), it was far from a very spiritual week. My devotions were few and far between. I worked in the math dept., worked at coffee shops, slept, and tried to still squeeze in time to hang out with people. My spirit hungered. My soul was thirsty. I knew of a fount that didn’t run dry and of bread that alleviates all hunger, but I rejected them. Productivity was my God.
And as I look back at the week. And remember this simple fact that God is big. I am glad that I do not serve Productivity, for he is a cruel master, and the scope of his power is limited to mine own ability.
But with God…
My validation, free. My work, joy. My walk, light. My burden, lifted. My worries, small. My hope, without scale or measure. My self-worth, redeemed. My attention, outward. My smile, renewed. My song, new.
God is bigger than my thesis. He is greater than graduation. His plans are established and He has me sealed.
I praise Him for simple and deep facts. My God is big.
Grace and peace
Breakfast
I made eggs today. Rocked some orange juice and had an apple. I haven’t made breakfast at all this semester. So it was nice to start the day off with a great meal. I got to reading some Proverbs over breakfast. Good stuff.
Nothing too exciting or inspirational today. Thesis work is coming along. I’ve written 10+ pages over the last few days, and presently I’m reviewing a method (linearization) that I need to use on my thesis, but have forgotten how to do.
It has been a much different Spring Break, but still nonetheless enjoyable. Believe it or not (and as exhausting as it is) I actually enjoy getting thesis work done. And I have had some free time to chill with my roommates. (One can only do math work for so long, until one needs a break)
So a post of randomness, but a post nonetheless!
Grace and peace!
Thesis Week Commences
So this week is Akron’s Spring Break week and rather than going to Mississippi with CF, or hitting the beach in Florida, or even just doing nothing, I embark on a mission of monumental importance: Thesis week. I will spend the week working hard on my thesis. It is my hope to knock out a significant chunk of work on it and get a little bit closer to that light at the end of the tunnel, graduation!
So here’s a little to do list a made for myself:
+Get caught up on grading
+Finish final draft of honors project (which is like the first section of my thesis)
+Interpret steady state solutions
+Revise first thesis draft
+Create & analyze steady state solution graphs
+Write and revise a lot
Amongst other things!
Grace and peace
On getting stuff done before noon
I find great satisfaction in getting stuff done before noon. Already today I have met with my thesis advisor, revised a CF Bible study, un-buried my truck from the pile of snow that it was under, attended a book meeting, sent out some e-mails, made important phone calls, and checked my facebook.
And I feel great. I don’t think this post has any real relevance except for the fact that I plan on posting it before noon and continue to make myself feel good and porductive!
Yeah thats it. Its a great feeling accomplishing so much in the morning, knowing that others (namely friends whom I am about to call) may be awoken by my phone call at noon.
I hope this doesn’t come off as arrogant or haughty (trust me I have had a fair share of unproductive days and I GREATLY value days of rest), there’s just something to a day when I get stuff done, and I felt that I would share that joy with you!
Grace and peace
Getting Wisdom
I started reading Proverbs on account of life.
There has been a barrage of people coming to me with life-questions and although I value the fact that they respect me, it has not been without its headaches, especially given the propensity towards drama and long winded-ness of the parties involved. So in an attempt to garner some wisdom I picked up Proverbs (a book of the Bible that I haven’t dedicated much study to) and read/fell asleep to the first chapter, neigh just the prologue.
The first seven verse of Proverbs where enough for me to chew on and drift off into sleep over. I thought of the importance of wisdom, the value of prudence, the consequences of foolishness, the idea of the “fear of the Lord,” my own interactions with people, the situations at hand, where I was at, and where I had come from.
And I’ve been musing over wisdom for the latter part of the day. As we went to Applebee’s I recalled a time when I threw spit wads and made messes and went from table to table in an attempt to entertain myself. And I wouldn’t say it was folly, but it was immature. And I think of life now, the fact that I was able to sit at one spot, civilly talk to the people around me, not throw anything nor make a mess, value and respect the waitress and the frustration she must endure serving a large crowd. Moreover the fact, that we now encourage people to eat together at each other’s houses!
And I just look back on life and see how wisdom has guided me, how with clarity she has brought me to places of serenity and understanding, and how, during the times when I left wisdom behind, I fumbled through life.
All that to say that I am excited to find what my excursions in Proverbs will yield, where wisdom will take me still.
Grace and peace.
PS-Thesis work is coming along decently.
Whatsup?… Nothing
“What’s goin on man?”
I hear this question asked quite frequently and the response is generally the polite and curt, “not much, man what’s goin on with you?” Now this isn’t a rant about the decline of actually answering questions honestly or a soapbox condemnation of shallow interactions, rather I wanted to blog about how I hate having nothing to blog about.
Generally, I do my utmost to try to have something interesting to retort to the above question. Something new I’m trying. A book I’m reading, a movie I recently viewed. A thought I’ve been stirring. Anything to avoid the weak-sauce answer of “nothin.”
But of late, I really haven’t been up to anything new. Now it’s hardly been nothing. In fact I’m probably more busy this semester, than I have been in years. I have been writing and solving my thesis, teaching my class, writing CF lessons, figuring out who’se taking over Reach Akron next year, leading RA, leading a CF small group, taking my last math class and solving coding problems out the wazoo (funny word, “wazoo”), getting ready for Mission Year by slowly getting out support letters, doing house chores, trying to work out regularly, and trying to read through an amazing book “The shaping of Things to come.”
And, I was going to complain about how there’s nothing new and exciting. But as I went over my list I reconciled in my head that not having anything new is OK. That doing what you’re doing well and finishing well is a valiant and exciting venture, even if it isn’t creative and new.
Good stuff.
Grace and peace
