Faith and Family, moreover my faith and my family…
It’s Thanksgiving Eve. I just attended The Chapel’s Thanksgiving eve service and sat with my family. My sister, B, couldn’t come so after service we went to the restaurant where she works, chatted with her, and then gave her a fat tip. I came home (not to my parent’s house but to the Manastery) to sleep in the house since Akron’s crime rate is on the up and holidays are always a high break-in time. Tomorrow I plan on seeing my extended family, eating food together, laughing much, playing board games, watching silly movies, celebrating new life (my cousins had a kid!), cherishing old life. Thanksgiving America intended it to be.
And this doesn’t make me uneasy. Rather I love these moments. I have long since outgrown the stages of life when I considered my family an embarrassment; so much so that I feel free to take my Mom out for lunch despite the fact that she carries a duck-call in her purse and has been known to use it on occasion.
And yet, there’s this verse in Luke. This pesky verse that in all honesty I almost wish wasn’t there. But it is. And it’s truth. And it cuts into my very soul:
Luke 14:25-27 “Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.”
It’s a hard pill to swallow. In fact, I don’t think I ever have. That’s why this verse haunts me. I feel like this verse is a contract to which I have signed but never lived up to. Ahh I digress, let me start from the very beginning, (a very good place to start)
What does this verse mean:
Although I am all for starting to take the words of Christ more literally, this is a clear example of hyperbole: obvious and intentional exaggeration. (as provided by dictionary.reference.com). I am confident that Jesus does not call us to “hate” our families. This confidence is reinforced upon a further review of the Bible, and God’s call for families and their importance.
So what does this verse mean? I have always been instructed that it means we are to live as if our love for JEsus would so outshine our love for our families/wives/own lives that it would appear that we “hate” our families/wives/own lives.
Others have told me that it simply means that we need to make sure that we love Jesus more than anything else. Period. Simple as that.
Ehhh (a sigh of exasperation) I don’t know…
So what gets me is that I’m trying to love Jesus more than everything else, but in turn I end up loving life, loving my family, and well, I’m very single right now (for a host of reasons that I may never post about), but anyways. I don’t know what it means to “hate” my own life. I love life. Everyday, love it, well most days at least.
And I can see my own logical and theological fallacies here. I know that Christ doesn’t call us to a life of self hate, but to a life to the fullest. And I know that it’s not wrong to love your family. But there’s still that verse…
Its as if I have no authority over that verse, because it has seldom been true for me. I’ve never had to choose my family or God’s kingdom, the two have always gone hand in hand for me (and for this I am very grateful and theologically bewildered…). And because I have never undergone this form of discipleship I can’t really explain this verse, because I just don’t know. I’ve never had to.
Let me try an analogy. I had a friend from camp Krista, who said that she could teach me how to do a roundhouse kick, but that she couldn’t do it herself. I scoffed at her (it was summer camp I wasn’t being mean, just playfully coy) and told her she was being ridiculous, “How can you teach me to do something if you’ve never done it yourself?” It was one of our inside joke/arguments all summer long.
But the same is true for this verse. I don’t know what it means. I’ve never done it (or at least I’ve never felt like I’ve done it(curse this post-modern culture and our obsession with feelings haha). SO how do I have any authority to teach on it? How can I claim a verse that I have never experience it, and if I’ve never experienced it, am I truly a disciple??
My resolution (and this is big news): I’m leaving. I’m not entirely sure where or how or what it will entail, but I am confident that by next year’s time I will be somewhere else serving. My next year’s Thanksgiving maybe I’ll look back at this post as I’m doing whatever I end up doing and know deeper what this verse means as I pine for my families fellowship and company.
And the world will say “Why doesn’t he come home for Thanksgiving, does he hate his family? Why spend the holidays with____, when you could go home??” And I’ll know (or at least I think I’ll know). I’ll know a little fuller (until that One Day when I fully know) what discipleship means.
Until then, I’m going to love life and love my family (and try to figure out the whole wife thing…) not in defiance of the Lord’s command, but in obedience, showing my family the love of Christ, living each day for others and for God, not myself (as best as can each day…)
and I’ll be thankful for what He has given me. A family that supports my decisions. Parents that are still together. Two sisters that I love. A sweet dog. a fun, youthful, exciting extended family. 4 grandparents that are still alive! deep friendships. ne’er a night spent bored or lonely. an amazing community to live with. an amazing life.
and I’ll anxiously await the day I give it up, for Him, for His kingdom, for His promise.
because He’s better by far.
grace and peace
