People Pleasers, Pauline Paradigms per Philippians, & Parted Posts
I fear coming into this post that my fetish for alliteration will result in this being a rather disjointed post; which really is no matter to me at all, for who can expect a jointed post after one has been working on his thesis for a couple hours.
I had the joy of studying the book of Philippians one summer at Camp Carl. I actually had the entire book memorized at one point! (I have since forgot it in its entirety, but assuredly could recite the most of it still) Needless to say I learned much from the book. I actually enjoyed Philippians so much that I tattooed Philippians 1:21, “But for me to live is Christ, and to die is gain” on my left calf in Hebrew (yeah, I know that Philippians was probably written in Greek, but I think Hebrew looks cooler, Greek letters remind me too much of math symbols, and it’s my calf so I can do what I want).
However there was one verse that I continually had problems understanding (in all honesty there was more than one verse I didn’t understand, but this verse took the focus of my attention): Philippians 3:10-11
“I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead”
This was Paul after explaining how he considered all things a loss compared to the joy of knowing Christ. Paul was expressing his deepest desire as a Christian. Here’s how I initially understood it:
I want to know Christ- Sweet! Me too! Up to this point Paul and I are on the same page. He wants to know Christ, I want to know Christ.
and the power of his resurrection- Again, I am in. I also want to know the power of his resurrection. Both Paul and I want to know Christ and know the power of His resurrection. And I got excited to be on the same line of thought as Paul. He wanted to know Christ, so did I. He wanted to experience the power of his resurrection, so did I. I remember making this verse my new life verse or something. How great does that sound, “I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection!” What a great verse! then I got to the next part…
and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings- and there’s the disjoint. I was down for knowing Christ. I was all about knowing the power of His resurrection, but this…what does that even mean, “the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings?” It didn’t initially have the same enticement that the first two parts of the verse had. Did Paul mean to say that he wanted to suffer? Was Paul implying that to know Christ and His resurrection would mean to know suffering? I just didn’t have much of a clue.
becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead”- Now at this point I was more or less loss with what the verse meant. And for that summer when I studied Philippians, I just casually bounced over this confusing verse. I would just sneak off to verse 12 and the whole “pressing on to take hold of that which Christ Jesus took hold of me” verse.
Yet now I find myself again wondering what this verse means. And in the light of a host of life decisions I again wonder how much my desires align with Paul’s desires here. I find myself still desiring to know Christ. I find myself still desiring to know the power of His resurrection. And then I found another desire at work within me, the desire to please everyone.
(I fear my thought may become disjointed at any moment now, so brace yourself dear reader) As I have dealt with the repetitive barrage that is the question “what are you doing with your life?” I have found myself adjusting the answer to please the questioners ears. For example, if my advising professors were to inquire what I was doing, I would reply, “Well I’m looking into programs in economic growth.” And when my friends from school would casually ask me what I’d be up to next year, I’d state that I’m looking into living in a big city and doing some volunteer stuff there for a while. And when my extended family would ask me what I had planned I would tell then that I wasn’t entirely sure, but that I always had teaching math as a back-up.
And there’s the disjoint. Do you want to hear that I’m going to get more education? Then I’ll twist what I’m doing to make it look that way. Do you want to hear that I’m going to do somthing exciting in a big city? I’ll tell you its an option of mine. Do you want to hear that I have a back-up plan and am being financially responsible then that’s what I’ll tell you.
Because who wants to hear that I want to know the fellowship of sharing in the sufferings of Christ. That doesn’t please the ears of those casually asking life questions. Who wants to hear that I desire poverty if it means sharing his Word? Who wants to hear that I would forsake education for a chance to serve? Who wants to hear that I would rather give money away then save it up?
Few do. and seldom have I said these things. (Even more seldom have I actually believed them, ”Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” –allright, now Paul and I are once again on the same wavelength)
So, what does it mean to want to share in the fellowship of the sufferings of Christ. I still don’t really know. But I imagine it starts with me telling those around me what I really want. Telling them that I want to serve Christ, not giving them a sugar-caoted response that sounds sweet to their ears.
Grace and peace
Facial Hair Awareness Campaign
I updated the “Know Joe” page to include my three life goals. (only one of which I take seriously). So in congruence with my second life goal, I am initiating The Facial Hair Awareness Campaign, where I will periodically post pictures and descriptions of men with facial hair, the greatness of said man and said facial hair, and why facial hair should be accepted as a social norm of “hotness.” Through the efforts of the FHAC, I hope to enlighten my online audience towards the greatness of beards and their kin.
Facial Hair Awareness Campaign: Aragorn/Strider
Yes that’s right Strider from Lord of the Rings. King Elessar. Aragorn. Isulduir’s heir. King of Middle Earth. Although not as much of a heartthrob as Orlando Bloom’s Legolas, Viggo Morensen rendition of Aragorn, is a keystone in the FHAC. Why? Because beards are regal. Beards imply kingship and royalty. As the picture here depicts, we have a strong, full-bearded King to lead Middle Earth with justice and strength.
When the hearts of men grow weak, who do they turn to? That’s right their King with the beard. Would this cinematic masterpiece hold its audience so well, were Mortensen clean-shaven and elvsih, I think not.
Furthermore, throughout the movie the ladies love Aragorn. Eowyn and Arwen, two princesses mind you, both are enthralled by the charm, charisma, and facial hair of Isulduir’s heir.
So thank you Aragorn and Viggo Mortensen for showing the world that facial hair is indicative of strength, royalty, and leadership.
Faith and Family, moreover my faith and my family…
It’s Thanksgiving Eve. I just attended The Chapel’s Thanksgiving eve service and sat with my family. My sister, B, couldn’t come so after service we went to the restaurant where she works, chatted with her, and then gave her a fat tip. I came home (not to my parent’s house but to the Manastery) to sleep in the house since Akron’s crime rate is on the up and holidays are always a high break-in time. Tomorrow I plan on seeing my extended family, eating food together, laughing much, playing board games, watching silly movies, celebrating new life (my cousins had a kid!), cherishing old life. Thanksgiving America intended it to be.
And this doesn’t make me uneasy. Rather I love these moments. I have long since outgrown the stages of life when I considered my family an embarrassment; so much so that I feel free to take my Mom out for lunch despite the fact that she carries a duck-call in her purse and has been known to use it on occasion.
And yet, there’s this verse in Luke. This pesky verse that in all honesty I almost wish wasn’t there. But it is. And it’s truth. And it cuts into my very soul:
Luke 14:25-27 “Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.”
It’s a hard pill to swallow. In fact, I don’t think I ever have. That’s why this verse haunts me. I feel like this verse is a contract to which I have signed but never lived up to. Ahh I digress, let me start from the very beginning, (a very good place to start)
What does this verse mean:
Although I am all for starting to take the words of Christ more literally, this is a clear example of hyperbole: obvious and intentional exaggeration. (as provided by dictionary.reference.com). I am confident that Jesus does not call us to “hate” our families. This confidence is reinforced upon a further review of the Bible, and God’s call for families and their importance.
So what does this verse mean? I have always been instructed that it means we are to live as if our love for JEsus would so outshine our love for our families/wives/own lives that it would appear that we “hate” our families/wives/own lives.
Others have told me that it simply means that we need to make sure that we love Jesus more than anything else. Period. Simple as that.
Ehhh (a sigh of exasperation) I don’t know…
So what gets me is that I’m trying to love Jesus more than everything else, but in turn I end up loving life, loving my family, and well, I’m very single right now (for a host of reasons that I may never post about), but anyways. I don’t know what it means to “hate” my own life. I love life. Everyday, love it, well most days at least.
And I can see my own logical and theological fallacies here. I know that Christ doesn’t call us to a life of self hate, but to a life to the fullest. And I know that it’s not wrong to love your family. But there’s still that verse…
Its as if I have no authority over that verse, because it has seldom been true for me. I’ve never had to choose my family or God’s kingdom, the two have always gone hand in hand for me (and for this I am very grateful and theologically bewildered…). And because I have never undergone this form of discipleship I can’t really explain this verse, because I just don’t know. I’ve never had to.
Let me try an analogy. I had a friend from camp Krista, who said that she could teach me how to do a roundhouse kick, but that she couldn’t do it herself. I scoffed at her (it was summer camp I wasn’t being mean, just playfully coy) and told her she was being ridiculous, “How can you teach me to do something if you’ve never done it yourself?” It was one of our inside joke/arguments all summer long.
But the same is true for this verse. I don’t know what it means. I’ve never done it (or at least I’ve never felt like I’ve done it(curse this post-modern culture and our obsession with feelings haha). SO how do I have any authority to teach on it? How can I claim a verse that I have never experience it, and if I’ve never experienced it, am I truly a disciple??
My resolution (and this is big news): I’m leaving. I’m not entirely sure where or how or what it will entail, but I am confident that by next year’s time I will be somewhere else serving. My next year’s Thanksgiving maybe I’ll look back at this post as I’m doing whatever I end up doing and know deeper what this verse means as I pine for my families fellowship and company.
And the world will say “Why doesn’t he come home for Thanksgiving, does he hate his family? Why spend the holidays with____, when you could go home??” And I’ll know (or at least I think I’ll know). I’ll know a little fuller (until that One Day when I fully know) what discipleship means.
Until then, I’m going to love life and love my family (and try to figure out the whole wife thing…) not in defiance of the Lord’s command, but in obedience, showing my family the love of Christ, living each day for others and for God, not myself (as best as can each day…)
and I’ll be thankful for what He has given me. A family that supports my decisions. Parents that are still together. Two sisters that I love. A sweet dog. a fun, youthful, exciting extended family. 4 grandparents that are still alive! deep friendships. ne’er a night spent bored or lonely. an amazing community to live with. an amazing life.
and I’ll anxiously await the day I give it up, for Him, for His kingdom, for His promise.
because He’s better by far.
grace and peace
if ever a day for blogging…
so i find myself at panera anxiously preparing to write lesson plans and grade homework for my Calc with business apps class, only to find that I have forgotten a crucial ingredient: my notebook, which contains all the correct answers for grading, and in which I write my lesson-plans.
It would seem that my plans have come to a temporary impasse. Thankfully the gray skies and mist throughout and my sweet collection of iTunes music on my laptop make today an ideal day for blogging my thoughts, and the recent going ons of my life. Fear not, I’ll continue with my thoughts on those three verses, but not with this post. (I am presently undertaking a one-word study over the verse I blogged about last time)
So whats up:
+I just turned 23. I got two cakes from two good friends. I got two things of ice cream. I went to Karaoke twice. Had dinner with the fam. Had a night on the town with the roomies and plan on watching 23 tonight (I should shoot for getting 23 people to show up…)
+On the note of Karaoke, it is one of my new favorite past times. Let me elaborate:
normal college bars:lots of drinking, dancing-but the awkward kind that I can’t really do, jukebox, pool–all in all things that I either don’t really partake in or that I suck at
karaoke bars: singing and lots of it, dancing-but the kind that people do at weddings to Journey’s Faithfully or Bon Jovi’s Livin on a Prayer, darts, usually a lot of drinking there too, but all in all things I love (singing and goofy dancing) plus the company of friends you’ve known forever backing you up while you try O-Town’s I want it All. good times indeed.
+Jon Penn’s new CD, off the chain. Check it out at wavethenavel.com
+I got accepted into a program through Mission Year and Eastern and it is a contender for what I might do post-graduation. Not entirely sure yet myself, still praying these things through, but worth checking out for yourself or if you’re interested in where life may take me: www.missionyear.org/masters
+Mike Smith and Anne are both coming home soon from their ventures over seas. Exciting!!
+i was thinking about creativity and how I appreciate it, but really don’t have much of it myself. For examples most blogs have trendy post-mod pictures of themselves looking away from their cameras while walking along some derelict street with a guitar strapped against their backs and random graphics around the corners of the page. I got nothing.
Not that i desire to be exceptionally more creative than I am now. I would consider myself innovative, but not creative. Moreover I can emulate like no other. I can duplicate what is funny (just listen to how frequently I quote movies) but coming up with something that is in and of itself funny and original usually evades me.
+So marvel.com has just released a bunch of back issues of comics online as digital comics (Sweet) but this new addition has caused their server to fail and their website can’t be accessed (suck), so now I am forced to look at my sweet backdrop of Wolverine, Colossus, and Nightcrawler of the Uncanny X-men until I can access marvel’s homepage to find a sweeter backdrop.
That takes care of most of what has been going on, I’ll post some deep thoughts sooner (or later)
Grace and peace!
whoever wants to save his life…
As promised the start of my reflections on three verses that I have wrestled with, stumbled over, and given much thought to:
Mark 8:34-36 “Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?
The same teaching and thought can also be found in Luke, where I have been reading recently:
Luke 9:23-27 “Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels. I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God.”
When I worked at Camp Carl as an elementary counselor I had the priviledge of talking to the kids in big group rallies and Chapel times; this was something I greatly enjoyed and took delight in doing. During Wild West week (which for anyone who cares is the hardest one to program, you’d think cowboys would be easy to program, but take away the guns, whiskey, saloons, gangs, and violence and all you got is horses and sheriffs) we were talking of Moses and the parting of the Red Sea. I asked the kids as a big group, “Who parted the Red Sea?”
In a preprogrammed response they mumbled, “Moses.”
I retorted to the crowd, “No. God parted the Red Sea and he used Moses to do it.” I think the thrust of the talk was that God uses little people (like elementary campers) to do big things. I can remember one camper coming up to me after the talk slightly disgruntled, remember these are fifth graders so their emotions are as clear as day. He asked me, “Why did we learn in sunday school that it was Moses who parted the Red Sea and not God?” He tried to convey as well as any fifth grader could the feeling one has when they feel they have been slighted, short-changed, sugar-coated, or glossed over.
And there it is. How many teachings of Christ have I read about in the Bible, have recieved instruction about, only to find that the instruction falls short of the actual teaching. Case in point the above verses in Mark and Luke. Before I start my rant, please know that I am not faulting any individual instructor, institution, or church. My intent is to dig deeply into these verses as I never have before and unearth the freeing truth of the message of Christ from the clutter of interpretations that I have aforeto received.
+What I received in youth group:
“For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.” This means that you need to prioritize Jesus above your own life. Your relationship with Jesus should be more important than soccer practice, boyfriends/girlfriends, band, even school. Regardless, continue to do your best in school and participate in extra-curricular activities because you need them on your resume to get into good colleges. You should lose your life by participating in service projects, going on trips, coming to church, and by being an all-around nice and loving person; and by doing these things you save your life because you are developing Christ-like characteristics that are transferable to college and the workforce.
Now I realize that this is a bit cynical, and perchance this is more pessimistic than true, but that dichotomy was there! How can I lose my life if everything I do, I do to get it on my resume so I can get scholarships into a good college and essentially “save my life??” No, this definition can’t be what Jesus meant. Just like my fifth grade camper, I look back at this teaching with a disgruntled uneasiness, because there has to more to Christ’s message than building a good resume and getting into a good college.
+What I received from my local church body:
“For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.” This means that some are called, like Jim Elliot, to give their lives in serving God, while others are called to send, and others are called to support in prayer. Thus you lose your life by giving some of what you have in the form of a tithe to support the few who lose their lives by actually going to the mission field. Try not to save your own life, by not buying too many expensive things. Well, actually what Jesus means here is that we can buy expensive things, we just need to give Him our money and heart first.
Again, know that I love my local church and that this is more of a hyperbole of my own angst with the current position of my own faith, then a public outcry against the church as it stands. But, there is truth is this above response. We always proclaim Jim elliot when we use this passage, why? Is it because we have noone else to compare it to? Are those who have lost their life so few today that the only example of this passage we can muster is a man who excellently lived out this passage 50 years ago? I know this is not the case. I know and can list many men and women who I feel have lived out this passage truly. But again I feel that as a whole and for myself, we have missed the mark of this verse.
+Literally what it means:
“For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.” This means that if we work for our own end, our work is in vain and we will have wasted our life, lost our life to Sheol, condemned our soul, fill in your own definition for “losing your life.” But, if we lose ourself for the cause of Christ, we will save our life to a life of fulfillment, Heaven, fill in your own defintion for a “saved” life.
And again my wrestling over this verse is the whole idea of college. For the past 5 years, people have asked me what are you doing with your life. What is your major? What are your plans? What are you going to do? and although I apprecaite the concern, I can’t help but get lost in the selfishness that is college life. Get your life together, figure out your life now, so that.. so that what? You can save your own life.
Now, I have no intention of dropping out of college, (especially with sweet graduation in sight), and I feel that I have done a mediocre job of living out this verse throughout my college career by putting others above myself, being faithful in tithing, and being generous with what I own, but as I am quickly coming upon the next phase of my life, I wonder what it looks like to lose myself for the sake of Christ and His Gospel.
As I decide what to do and where to go and how to live, this question rings forever in my head, “What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?”
Grace and Peace
Coming Soon…
If any of my readers are unfamiliar with who I am, which I find unlikely since to the best of my knowledge only my Mom reads this site, let me present to you my religious affiliation: Christian.
Now the modern day dilemma with such a simple word as “Christian” as expressed by C.S. Lewis is that generally Christianity carries with it some other implication. Lewis denoted this affect “Christianity and” in his book Mere Christianity and tries to get to the core definition of the word.
However in today’s society most Christian’s, as I have observed tend to switch Christianity to some new word that they the control thus controlling its implications. For example, Don Miller author of Blue Like Jazz, classifies his works as reflections on Christian Spirituality; while John Piper would call himself a Christian Hedonists. Although I disapprove of this trend of word bending, I find myself in the same conundrum as the aforementioned authors, “How do you label yourself, when you feel that the common label does not do your beliefs justice?” If Christian, as America defines it, is decidedly Republican, evangelical, and white, then this is certainly a label I find I can not have.
(Thankfully I have higher hopes of America’s definition of Christianity than that, I just use hyperbole to reinforce my point.) Thusly, I will define myself Christian and define Christian as a follower of Christ. (Which yes is a broad definition, but one that has brought me much joy as I have searched for what it means to follow Christ.)
Now as a Christ-follower I present a few verses from the Bible that I have wrestled with for quite some time. It is my hope over the next weeks or so to post an extended exegesis of these verses, my thoughts and reflections, what I was taught as a youth, what I think now.
- Mark 8:34-36 “Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?
- Luke 14:25-27 “Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
- Philippians 3:10-11 “I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.”
So sit tight, there should be some good stuff coming soon….
